CONDIMENT THIEF STRIKES AGAIN – INVESTIGATORS BAFFLED
The Gahanna Department of Minor Inconveniences is asking for the public’s help in identifying a suspect they’re calling “The Condiment Bandit.”
Over the past three weeks, 127 vehicles at The Vista apartments and surrounding area have been broken into, but the thief isn’t after valuables. Instead, they’re only taking sauce packets from glove compartments and center consoles.
Detective Mike Brenner stated: “In my 23 years at the department, I’ve never seen anything like it. Taco Bell Fire Sauce, Chick-fil-A Polynesian, McDonald’s Sweet and Sour, even that fancy garlic aioli from Market District. If it’s a condiment packet, it’s gone.”
The suspect appears to be methodical. Victims report their cars are left unlocked with a small note that reads “Thank you for your contribution to the cause.”
42-year-old Janet Holloway of Beecher Road said: “I had been saving those Arby’s Horsey Sauce packets for months. MONTHS. I’m devastated.”
Investigators believe the suspect may be building up a collection or preparing for some kind of sauce-related event.
Security footage from the Vista’s parking lot shows a figure wearing what appears to be a condiment-covered poncho, but the image quality is too poor to make an identification.
If you have any information, please contact the Gahanna Department of Minor Inconveniences. Do not approach the suspect – they may be heavily sauced.
